The Sneeze
by makerizzlescanon
Summary: a story about how rizzles started... with a sneeze. pretty much entirely fluff. [actual part about the sneeze now up!]
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimers: characters not mine, blah blah. **

**A/N: scientist nerd pretending to be able to write. let me know if my writing veers too close to being purple prose. feedback/criticism/whatever always welcome. thanks!**

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Whenever Jane claimed it started with that sneeze, Maura refused to believe her.

It – this thing between them – had been building up for eons; a gradual crescendo all those years they had been work colleagues, and then multiplying several fold in amplitude the past few years that they had fallen into being best friends.

For Maura, as cliché as she knew she sounded even when playing out the events in her head, it had started the moment she had met Jane. She had been called to a crime scene, a murder in a hotel room, the day before her official start date as Medical Examiner at the Boston Police Department. The dispatcher had been apologetic enough for bothering her since she was technically not even employed there yet, but murders don't pay heed to convenience and there hadn't been anyone else available. She was the last one there, already angry at her relaxing evening plans being cut short, when she saw someone standing dangerously close to the dead body. _Her _body.

"Excuse me, can you please move away from the body. Now." Maura hadn't meant her tone to be so clipped, but it was her first crime scene and it was important to set precedence, be authoritative.

The someone turned around; it was a woman. A strikingly beautiful woman who pulled herself up to her full height haughtily before retorting, "Who the hell are you?"

"Dr. Maura Isles. I'm the new Medical Examiner and I believe that is my dead body that you are dangerously close to touching right now. I suggest you back off right now before you contaminate the evidence and make my job harder."

There was snickering in the background. "Looks like you just got told off, Jane," someone piped up helpfully.

Maura watched this woman bristle, could almost see the waves of anger that radiated off her and commanded the entire room into silence just by turning around to look at the other officers. When she turned to Maura, however, the anger had dissipated and all that was left was the beginning of a smirk and a smoldering gaze. "I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli. She's all yours, doctor. "

It was the smirk that did it.

But Maura was learning slowly that sometimes accuracy could wasn't as important as being a good girlfriend, so she let Jane have her own version of the story. A story that started with that sneeze.


	2. Chapter 2

Back when Maura was learning the ropes of longevity and how to make a committed relationship work, she had attempted to correct her then-girlfriend's version of how they had started, the story of them.

"Jane, it definitely did not start with that sneeze."

"Did too." Jane nestled her face deeper into Maura's hair, pulling them into a body long embrace. The movie they had chosen blared on. Jane had chosen it specifically, because it afforded time for snuggling and conversation during the parts when people were talking, in the breaks between the plentiful car chases and explosions.

"Definitely not. This – , " Maura waved her hand, "Us. This had been a long time coming."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Remember that time we were at the Dirty Robber celebrating the closing of the Anderson case and you got really drunk?"

Jane responded by nibbling Maura's ear.

"Jane, you had your hand on my thigh the entire night. Frost and Korsak kept nudging each other and whispering and grinning."

"I was drunk, Maur. I'm touchy-feely when I'm drunk."

"No, this was… different. You kept drawing circles and moving your hand further and further up my leg."

"Kind of like this?"

Needless to say, that conversation didn't go very far.

The next time Maura brought it up, she got a more satisfying answer. They were spooning one night, basking in post-coital bliss, and she couldn't resist bringing it up again.

"Jane, do you remember the first time we spooned?"

"Mm. Wasn't it that time after you dragged me to go dancing? At that fancy club where those guys tried to hit on us?"

"Good memory, yes. That was way before the sneeze."

"Hm?"

"We were doing Things Friends Don't Do even before that sneeze."

"What? I don't get where this is going." Jane disentangled herself and propped up to be able to look at Maura's face.

"It's just, you're so adamant that we started with that sneeze. That's inaccurate. There were all of these little things going on. That's what made me respond to the sneeze the way I did. It didn't just come out of the blue."

"That's not what I mean by the story, Maur."

"I know, it's just. What were all of those things then? The touching and the cuddling and the intimacy? Was I misreading them?"

"No! I… liked doing all those things with you. I had never really had a best friend and I told myself that's what best friends did. It didn't really hit me how, um, intimate it all was until that sneeze. The sneeze made me see things differently that's all"

"Ok."

"I've loved you for a very long time Dr. Maura Dorothea Isles."

"Ok."

"Ok? I'll show you ok." Jane put on a menacing grin and flipped over Maura, who squealed and giggled: an unmistakable signal for end of conversation.

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**A/N: sorry for how long this took to update. I got stuck on this chapter, had a hard time figuring out how to contextualize their relationship. Hope this works. Chapter describing the headcannon that prompted this story coming soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

It happened on an ordinary Saturday night. Maura and Jane had just settled down with movie and food when it came, out of the blue.

"AAA-CHOO"

"Jane, are you coming down with something?" Maura was unable to mask the concern she felt for her best friend.

"What, no Maura that was one sneeze."

"That was a pretty emphatic sneeze for someone who's not coming down with something." Maura moved down the couch closer to Jane, moved her hand to her friend's forehead. "You don't feel warm."

"That's because I'm not coming down… achoo achoo achoo"

Maura raised an eyebrow, even as worry flooded her face. "Sounds like allergies."

"To what, this Moo Shoo pork I've been eating all my life?"

"Let me have a bite, maybe they added something new?" Maura slid closer, a hand on Jane's arm to steady herself as she grabbed a piece of pork off her friend's chopsticks.

"ACHOO"

Maura's eyes widened. "Jane, wait. You're not allergic to the pork, you're allergic to me!"

Jane doubled over in a combined fit of sneezing and laughing.

"But we should probably experiment. Hold on, let me see what happens when I move to the other side of the couch."

The sneezing stopped but the snortling didn't. "Maura..." a pause to breathe in between the attacks of raucous laughter. "Maur, this is ridiculous I can't be allergic to my best friend."

"It is scientifically impossible to be allergic to other humans, Jane. You're probably just allergic to the fabric I'm wearing or the perfume I have on or something."

"Wait, come closer again?" Maura inched forward hesistantly.

"ACHOO ACHOO, nevermind," Jane managed to get out between the giggle fits that had resumed.

Maura put her plate down on the coffee table and got up.

"Maur, wait, I was just kidding, where are you going? Come back."

"I'm going to go take a shower and change so that you're not sneezing when I'm near you. Easy solution."

"No, no, you don't have to do that. We'll just stay on opposite sides of the couch. Come back!"

"Nonsense. It'll take me fifteen minutes. And I'm done with my food anyway."

Maura walked into her bedroom and pulled out a well-worn nightdress and robe set, walked into her bathroom and scrubbed her body and washed her hair. The extra effort would be worth it if would mean snuggling could accompany their movie tonight. Just last week Jane had yelped at some scary scene and ended up with her face in Maura's shoulder and arm around Maura's waist. The face had eventually succumbed to curiosity, but the arm had stayed put throughout the movie.

The entire operation took all of 18 minutes, although that didn't stop Jane from whining when she returned.

"That took forever. I missed you."

Tingles. That was how Maura would describe what those words made her feel. It wasn't the first time Jane had made her feel this way, and she found herself… addicted. Wanting it more and more, the tiny reassurances, the caresses, the comfort. A tiny smile played on her lips. But her next words ended up being little more pointed that she meant.

"You're welcome."

"Yeah, yeah." Jane patted the cushion next to her. "Come sit so we can start the movie!"

Maura hesitated for a second, forgetting what would be considered a normal distance. Six inches? A cushion away? She perched herself on the other side of the couch just in case.

"You can come closer you know. Now that I'm not allergic to you anymore."

She couldn't see Jane's face, but the eye roll was evident in the words. Maura took a deep breath, negated the space between herself and the object of her affections. (The object of her affections? Is that really what Jane had become?)

"I asked you to come closer, not sit in my lap."

"That was hardly sitting in your lap, Jane, this would be sitting in your lap." She didn't know where this sudden courage had come from – perhaps from the realization that if Jane had in fact become the object of her affections, Maura would have to be the one to muster up courage, would have to find some way to communicate this to her. And so, with a confidence she didn't know she possessed, she climbed astride a stunned Jane. "Better?"

A knock.

A more insistent knock.

Angela's voice booming into the living room. "Maura? Jane? Are you two in there?"

That was what pushed them out of their reverie, sent them scrambling for as much distance between their as possible. Maura ended up near the kitchen counter, blushing furiously. Jane, still shell-shocked, was at the TV when her mother walked into the room.

Angela paused for a moment, looked back and between the two women. "Did I interrupt something?"

Jane was the first to regain composure and answer. "No, Maura was just getting us more wine."

"Oh. Ok. Janie, my car died."

"Again?"

"Yeah. And you know I promised Aunt Gina that I'd help cook for Lindsey's birthday."

"Ma, that's in Conneticut!"

"Honey, will you lend me your car?"

"Ma! I have things to do this weekend!"

Maura used this time to steady her breathing, whisper calming things to herself.

"Maura, honey, do you mind giving the ungrateful daughter I carried for 9 months rides this weekend?"

"Of course, Angela. Not a problem."

"Any other problems Janie? I can drop you off right now, I'm leaving early in the morning tomorrow."

"Ma! It's movie night and we haven't even started the movie yet!"

"It's almost midnight and you're both too flushed to be sober. I'm guessing that movie is not going to happen."

"MA!"

"Come on, let's go. Wouldn't you rather sleep in your own bed tonight?"

Jane groaned and flashed a look at Maura – a mixture of pleading and i'msorry and helpme and iampowerlessinherwake – before following her mother out of the door. She was barely in the car when her phone pinged with a text from Maura. Two words: come back. A one-word reply: tomorrow.

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**A/N: there's a chance this might be the last chapter. depends on how inspired i'm feeling. stay tuned, folks! (reviews would be much appreciated. i feel like i don't pace dialogue well and have a hard time writing the in-between bits. let me know what i'm doing right/wrong?)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: was going to take some time away from this story to reassess, but then i felt terribly guilty for leaving you guys hanging. so to everyone who left sweet reviews demanding i continue, this is for you. :)**

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Jane woke up the next day to incessant pounding at her bedroom door.

"Wake up, sleepyhead! Rise and shine!" Frankie was smart enough now to complement the incessant pounding with words so that he wouldn't find himself staring at the wrong end of a gun held by his sister. He was learning.

Jane groaned into her pillow. This was not what she had signed up for when she had given her little brother a key for emergencies.

"Go away, come back when it's not 9 am in the morning on a Sunday, asswipe."

"I would do that if you hadn't signed us up for doing a Costco run for Korsak's thing."

Korsak's thing. Right. It was all coming to her now. Korsak was having a thing – a small gathering of friends over to watch the Pats game, or so the email she had helped him write to the woman he was trying desperately to woo had said. She and Frankie had offered to make a Costco run to give Korsak extra time to clean and bake and do whatever the hell older men did to end up with ladyfriends.

Although she was severely regretting that decision at 9 am this Sunday morning, with Frankie still pounding at the door and the events of last night just beginning to resurface.

Maura.

On her lap.

Those long legs, hair still damp from her shower, the smell of her soap, her hands snaking around Jane's waist.

Maura.

Her best friend.

Jane groaned and buried herself further under her comforter, piled the pillows over her face.

"That's it. If you're not dressed and ready to leave in 5 minutes, I'm calling the only person you listen to."

Shit, that would be Maura. Jane bolted out of bed.

"Ok, ok, I'm up."

R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I

Maura, on the other hand, woke up to a text message.

_Hey. Me and Frankie are at Costco want anything? _

Probably too forward to respond with "You. In my bed." Jane would probably need to be… coaxed.

_No thanks. What time are you going to Korsak's? Need a ride? _

_ Noonish? Nah, I'm with Frankie. _

_Okay. I have errands to run so I'll be a little late. I can drop you home. _

_Thanks, but Frost lives closer. I can probably bum a ride off him. _

Maura sighed. Jane wasn't going to be able to avoid being alone with her forever.

R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I&R&I

By the time Maura got to Korsak's, the game had started and everyone was buzzed and crowded around the TV and yelling. She should have gotten to him before Jane and Frost did, this was perhaps the wrong kind of gathering to invite a ladyfriend you're trying to impress to.

Maura ignored the open chair and made a beeline for the couch, squeezing herself in between Jane and Frankie, who moved over good-naturedly.

"Geez, Maura, would you like to sit in my -"

An abrupt pause. A blush.

Luckily everyone else was too engrossed in the game to notice Maura's eyes crinkle with un-laughed laughter, her shy hopeful glance at Jane, who looked stubbornly at the screen.

And then a few minutes later, their knees brushed when Maura got up to use the bathroom and Jane jumped as if she had been hit by lightening. Had their every interaction always been so charged with sexual tension?

It took her till almost the end of the game to muster up the courage to test her hypothesis. Jane's hand lay on the couch, and Maura would never have a better opportunity. She brought her own hand right next to it and touched the pinky with hers.

Jane sat up straight. She stole a glance at their hands and gulped. Audibly. Maura looked ahead at the screen and smiled.

Maura liked to think that this, them, all of it, would not have transpired had Jane not done what she did next. Jane took her hand gently in her own and held it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: ask and ye shall receive :)**

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There was no question that they would leave together. Not when Frost asked if Jane wanted a ride back, it was on his way, he could drop her off, no problem.

"Nah, I left something at Maura's that I need to pick up. Thanks though."

"She can't give it to you tomorrow? I literally pass by your house on my way back."

"No, I need it tonight!"

"Alright, alright, don't pop a vessel."

Not even when Frankie and a couple of the guys decided to go to The Dirty Robber to catch the end of the Celtics game.

"You sure Jane? I can give you a ride home."

"Nah, I'm not feeling so great."

"You do look a little red."

"She should probably go home and straight to bed," Maura piped in, which didn't help.

"Whoa, Jane, you're all pale now."

They were mostly silent on the short drive back, Maura lost in contemplation and Jane scared shitless. The nerves lessened though when she stood behind Maura at the front door, watching her fumble with her keys in the lock. Maura must be scared too. They could both be scared together. She slipped her arms around the smaller woman's waist, rested her forehead on Maura's shoulder, who stopped. Breathed. Stepped back further into Jane's embrace.

They stayed like for a few minutes, still and content. On the precipice of limitless possibility.

Maura was the first to break the moment. "Jane, I might need to you stop doing that so I can concentrate on opening the door."

A chuckle. "Sorry, I didn't realize it was such an intense procedure."

"Speaking of intense procedures…" Maura pulled Jane into the house, pushed her against the hallway wall. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Ok." It was barely out of her mouth when Maura's lips were on hers, hands tangled in her hair, all soft and gentle and curves, elbows knocking against hers.

They paused to smile shyly at each other.

Maura took Jane by the hand, led her to the couch. "I was hoping we could pick up where we left off yesterday."

"Should I call my mother?"

That elicited a laugh. "That reminds me, I should lock the door. You get comfortable on that couch."

"Ok, I'm ready for you now."

Maura laughed. Where was this bravado coming from? She took a moment, a smile playing on her lips, and leaned against the doorframe watching Jane on the couch watching her.

"Come here."

That rasp. It was impossible to deny that rasp. She found herself caught in a giant magnetic field, pulled to Jane's lap. She climbed astride and settled in.

"What do you propose we do now?"

"Dunno, Maura, a crossword maybe?"

She silenced Jane with a kiss. And then another, and another and another, each escalating in intensity until they pulled back panting, their foreheads touching.

"Should we talk about this?"

"Talking is the last thing I want to do right now, with you on my lap."

Maura disentangled herself, moved to the other end of the couch.

"We should talk about this."

"Ok, you go first." That smirk.

"Ok. I… don't want this to be casual."

"Me neither."

Maura expelled a breath of air, relieved. They traded shy smiles.

"But can we not tell anyone for a bit? Would that be ok? I need some time to process without Ma and everyone at work having a field day with this."

"Of course."

"Anything else you want to know, Maur? Before we can go back to not-talking?"

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"You know. This."

"I think it started yesterday with that sneeze…"


End file.
